


Hook, Line and Sinker

by Aphidity



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Mer AU, Merformers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-27
Updated: 2018-10-14
Packaged: 2019-04-28 16:37:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14453379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aphidity/pseuds/Aphidity
Summary: Soundwave has no idea how a proper courtship should be handled. His symbiotes have a few ideas. Some may even work.





	1. Chapter 1

The usually quiet coral outcrop had been transformed into a cacophony of loudly expressed opinions. Most of them were patently unhelpful, but right now Soundwave was grasping at straws.

“I don’t really take him for the cockle-shell type. Maybe conch-shells instead?”

“Nah, that’s too land-walker. He’s obviously into kelp braids.”

“Pebbles. Just go with pebbles. The gross algae-covered ones.”

Soundwave gave Frenzy a hard stare.

“What? They’re round and green, just like him!”

Soundwave stared harder.

“Fine, fine.” Frenzy’s fins slicked down as he muttered, “I don’t see why we have to spend so much time doing this.”

Soundwave ignored the aside in favour of asking the rest of his symbiotes, “Query: Cosmos’ preferred diet?”

He wasn’t ready for Frenzy’s gasp. “What? I thought you’d already know!”

His twin wasn’t far behind in echoing the sentiment. “Yeah! I mean, it’s not like we spend much time around him. Willingly, anyway.” Soundwave really had to have a talk with them on acceptable manners around guests soon.

“Scope of conversation: did not include dietary preferences.”

“Yeah, because yer were too busy snogg- Ow! Laserbeak!” Rumble yelped at the disapproving lash of his sister’s stinger. He rubbed at the sore spot while glaring at the little stingray. “You _know_ they were! You were there too!”

Laserbeak flapped her pectoral fins dismissively at her brother. Soundwave let the rudeness slide just this once, because really, Rumble deserved that.

Wait, just how many of his symbiotes had snuck along to his last meeting with Cosmos? He thought he had been alone!

“You mean you didn’t ask him?” Ratbat sounded as horrified as the rest of his siblings looked.

 Soundwave’s tentacles curled with unease. There lay a touchy subject. “Specific topic: never broached.”

“But you’re _courting_! How could you not ask?”

Anxious tentacle tangling intensified. “Conversation: did not delve into personal preferences. Focus: on surrounding scenery.”

An uncomfortable silence hung heavily.

“Surrounding…scenery.” Ravage slowly ventured, as if testing how the words fit on the tongue. Frenzy was too busy staring agape at his carrier, gills billowing away.

“Yo, big S, not to be rude, but you ever talk about _this_?” Rumble gestured expansively at their little lair. “Y’know. The whole…nest thing.”

Soundwave crumpled completely. “…no.”

And right on cue, his symbiotes were wailing, “Soundwaaave!”

“You didn’t _tell_ him?”

“Does he even know that he’s supposed to come over?”

“Does he even know that you’re _courting_ him?”

He gave up all pretense of knowing what he was doing and barricaded himself behind a wall of tentacles.

Amid the pandemonium, Ravage poked and pried at the tangled mess that was her carrier. “Hiding in there and ignoring it isn’t going to help solve the problem, you know.”

Soundwave’s only response was to change his chromatophores to blend in with the sandy floor of the cove.

Ravage puffed a jet of sand at those tentacles to let her carrier know exactly how unimpressed she was. “Delaying solution-seeking is unlike you. And unbecoming, might I add.” She squinted and peered pointedly at Soundwave. “You of all mers know how important action is to success. And while I am not particularly fond of the Autobot, I _would_ prefer that you succeed in this.”

Buzzsaw, the little brat, sing-songed tauntingly, “Cosmos won’t be im-pre-essed~”, then darted away as fast as he could to dodge the swipe of an annoyed tentacle.

The twins followed by pouncing on their carrier. Frenzy got a hold of one stray arm and was pulling for dear life, while Rumble was shoving from behind despite Soundwave’s attempts to sucker himself onto the seabed. “Soundwave! We wasted two whole days clearing out our lair, and one more day to collect enough pebbles for the nest, _and_ the whole of today’s morning hunting! Cosmos _has_ to turn up, or I’ll be very offended. We all will!”

The octo-mer reluctantly untangled himself but remained in a despondent slump. “Unsure how to begin.”

Rumble snorted. “After how much we’ve ‘helped out’? I’m not letting my effort go to waste. We’ll figure something out, just wait and see.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More fluffy Coswave is always a good thing. Yes. I love me some useless lovey-dovey Soundwave.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soundwave may be going a little overboard.

How much fish was needed to entertain a single Autobot?

According to Soundwave: much fish. Many fish. So many.

Never enough fish.

Buzzsaw had looked at the pile that Soundwave stashed at the back of the lair and wondered if his host was being rather too enthusiastic about the whole endeavour. There were some prey in the pile that he’d never even seen before.

“Maybe you should slow down on the hunting. At the rate you’re going, entire species are going extinct by the end of the day.”

Soundwave either didn’t hear or didn’t care. He was far too absorbed in wrangling a particularly feisty crayfish that insisted on making a break for freedom instead of staying on the pile like any well-mannered meal would. It snapped claws at Soundwave’s fingers whilst skittering backwards.

Shadows danced around the entrance of their lair, where the crayfish was scuttling towards. Laserbeak was darting about the strands of kelp shielding their grotto’s entrance, deftly braiding and knotting the fronds into a decorative net. The ends of each frond were weighted down with rocks and coral chunks to prevent them from drifting off. Buzzsaw had spent an entire day gnawing through the tough stipes and then had to drag them back while battling contrary currents. He’d gladly dumped the load off on Laserbeak, never wanting to see them again.

Laserbeak, on the other hand, didn’t seem to mind kelp-wrangling. A pile of mollusc shells sat nearby, the cleaned remnants of previous meals. Soundwave had picked them over and painstakingly drilled a hole in each one the night before. Once in a while, Laserbeak would select a suitable shell to thread into the net she was working on. The incorporated shells caught glints of filtered light as they drifted and billowed in the currents. She had an eye for design, who knew?

Buzzsaw turned his attention back to his host. Soundwave had apparently decided that freshness was a secondary priority. He flipped the ornery crustacean over, and snapped his faceplates open to inject a paralysing toxin. The crayfish instantaneously went limp and was returned to the top of the pile.

Rumble and Frenzy had previously came in with their contributions to the stash. Both were glowering and grumpy, but Frenzy had called out, “Catch of the day, boss! Nothing but the best for your Autobot.” “Near took my left fin off.” Rumble muttered as he heaved a squid half his bodylength out of the way. Frenzy grunted something in reply, but it was lost to the rattle of shells as he emptied his net of gathered mussels. After long hours of kelp harvesting, Buzzsaw could sympathise with his exhausted brothers.

Soundwave, on the other hand, was still occupied with organising the mountain of food collected. His ordinarily steady hands were endlessly flitting about like a moulted crab, pulling and prodding and rearranging whatever did not fit his unspecified demands. Seriously, how appealing could a pile of seafood be? It was going to end up in a belly, anyway. At least that was how Buzzsaw saw things.

A ripple in electromagnetic fields suggested a presence next to him. It appeared that Ravage had silently undulated in while Soundwave was stinging his prey into submission. Buzzsaw took the opportunity to sidle up to the moray.

“Ravage! Finally, a sane mer. Please tell Soundwave that he’s going overboard with his hunting. Even Rumble can’t eat that much in one sitting.”

His sibling symbiote didn’t reply, but her fins rippled in surprise when she caught sight of the stockpile.

Buzzsaw settled back in relieved satisfaction as the eldest symbiote swam over to their host. Surely Soundwave would listen to Ravage.

“Soundwave. Your Autobot is unlikely to be an anglerfish. Unless he has a distensible stomach, the amount of food provided is excessive.”

“Even _if_ he is an anglerfish, the amount is excessive,” Buzzsaw couldn’t resist piping up.

Soundwave didn’t even bother looking up from the food pile. “Intended purpose: optimise first impression. Consumption: secondary concern.”

Buzzsaw blatted sand out of his gills in exasperation. “Oh come on. You don’t even know what he eats! What if he doesn’t like fish? What if he’s a herbivore, huh? Algae-sucking Autobots. You’d never know.”

Soundwave whipped about, but he wasn’t making eye-contact with either symbiote. His gaze was fixed on some far point. An accompanying flare of colours suggested that Buzzsaw had succeeded in agitating his host instead of knocking some sense in.

Ravage sighed. “We are _not_ going to collect algae for your Autobot, Soundwave.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, and comments are very much appreciated!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jazz is the worst neighbour that ever existed.

The more Soundwave looked at that insufferable little spinner dolphin, the more he wanted to throttle him.

Jazz was curled up in a smug roll from a smug perch on a coral knoll and radiating smugness down at Soundwave. He looked more self-satisfied than a pelican stuffed on mullet, which only meant trouble.

After a day full of little crises, Soundwave had very little patience left to deal with more troubles.

“So… heard ya got a little problem?” The sharp grin stretched impossibly wider as Jazz leaned further in. “Involving a certain _buddy_ of mine.”

So it appeared that the resident busy-body of the Autobot pod had caught wind of Soundwave’s plans. He had hoped that his preparations would be discreet and uninterrupted by adverse events (chiefly: Jazz and other meddling Autobots), but it was not to be.

It took all of Soundwave’s self-control to tamp down the urge to flare his tentacles aggressively at the aggravatingly cheery mer. “None of your business.”

“Aww c’mon, Soundwave! You’ve _got_ to keep me up to date on the hot news here!” A beat of his tailflukes and Jazz corkscrewed right up in Soundwave’s visor. “Won’t you tell lil’ old Jazz what’s up?”

Soundwave lashed his tentacles and jetted a safe distance away from the dolphin-mer. Jazz was a full head shorter than he was, but he knew from painful experience the dangers of those meticulously sharp claws and that spiny grin. Who knew what tricks that devious mer was up to this time?

“Repeating: none of your business.” Soundwave snapped when Jazz followed anyway. His chromatophores flashed a bright, warning purple as his tentacles curled in a threatening rictus.

Jazz clicked a laugh, light and mocking, as he looped a neat circle around. “Oh, but it _is_ my business. I make things my business. And I take my businesses very seriously, Sounders.” His wide grin conveniently showed off rows of small, conical teeth. “But you already know that, don’t you?”

Soundwave lashed his tentacles when Jazz got too close again. “Jazz’s opinion: inconsequential.” He would not let this irritant get the better of him.

Said irritant twisted through another corkscrew, arching his spine and flexing his claws in one smooth movement that was anything but casual. “Maybe so. But any opinion of mine regarding the Autobots is full of consequences. Consequences for you,” here Jazz blew a stream of occluding bubbles, “consequences for Cosmos.”

Soundwave immediately shot from irritation to rage. He knew better than to attack, but that didn’t stop him from hissing, “Cosmos: not to be harmed.”

Instead of being threatened, Jazz looked like he’d found a fresh oyster-bed. “Oho, looks like I hit a nerve there. What’s the matter, Sounders? What’s he to you?”

It took a few moments for Soundwave to realise that he was flashing his brightest warning colours, despite his earlier resolve to not let Jazz’s heckling get to him. He didn’t know what Jazz was planning for him (or worse, for Cosmos), but he knew that Jazz was bad and dangerous and _absolutely_ _a threat_.

Laserbeak and Rumble had scars to prove it.

Predictions, situations and strategies presented and remoulded themselves in Soundwave’s mind. He had to predict Jazz’s next course of action, no matter how famously unpredictable the mer was. For his symbiotes’ safety and his own.

For Cosmos, who was still an Autobot and still subject to the pod’s authority.

“Cosmos: isolated from main pod. Lonely. Autobots: poor companions.” It gave Soundwave some small measure of bitter satisfaction to see the smugness finally leach out of Jazz, his smirk warping into something more uncertain.

That uncertainty was swiftly replaced with undisguised suspicion. “So what’s your angle? Don’t tell me you’re taking him in out of the goodness of your spark, because I won’t buy that.” Blue eyes narrowed. “Convenient mark, ain’t he? Let’s you be there just when you need to be.”

Soundwave’s anger encouraged him to go on the offensive as he saw the opening Jazz’s words gave him. Jazz wanted the truth? Soundwave would give him the truth, deliver it as harsh and sharp as any harpoon.

“Soundwave: superior companion to Autobot comrades.” Now it was Soundwave’s turn to sneer and glide a half-circle around the Autobot intruder. “Autobots: value Cosmos’ scouting. Soundwave: values Cosmos.”

He smiled at Jazz’s sudden burst of agitated clicking and swept his tentacles into a prim swirl beneath himself. “Further questions: welcome.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments very much appreciated! :D


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rumble is running very short on temper and patience.

It wasn’t too hard to find the green Autobot alone, Rumble reflected. The symbiotes were already familiar with Autobot movements and schedules from their usual surveillance anyway. Cosmos always wandered far away from the main pod for extended bouts and rarely rejoined them. His range was usually on the very fringes of the pod’s territory, and sometimes even beyond. He never crossed into Soundwave’s territory, however, not even when _their_ own pod was still intact. Soundwave (and his symbiotes) had made sure of that.

What was difficult was finding that stupid mer to begin with. Why did he have to travel such long distances? All Rumble had to go with was his carrier’s instructions, and tracks. Which were infuriatingly equivocal, when they existed at all. That hollow in the seabed could have been where Cosmos had slept for the night, or literally any other mer passing through. A neat pile of crab shells? Could have been a passing octopus’ meal.  Not a single mer he had met had sighted the bright green Autobot, so all that was left to do was to tediously search out the mer himself.

Doubly frustrating was the fact that he had nobody to complain to. After calling Cosmos anything from a ‘neon green blimp’ to ‘stone-slow seacow’, Rumble couldn’t let anyone know that _he_ had difficulty tracking Cosmos! Imagine Rumble, super sneaky spy extraordinaire, being unable to find a stinky Autobot? He’d get laughed at for ages!

Him and his big mouth. Stupid Soundwave and his stupid Autobot.

Where _was_ that accursed mer? Rumble had been sweeping practically the whole seabed. Soundwave had mentioned that Cosmos’ role sometimes required him to enter the deep abyss at the edge of the open sea, but no way was Rumble going there alone. Brrrr.  While some of Autobot pod had migrated into the open sea, he didn’t think Cosmos was among them. The only reason that kept Rumble going was his pride. He didn’t believe that a seasoned reconnaissance agent like him couldn’t find some dumb Autobot. Cosmos had to be _somewhere_.

Rumble finally spotted him among some coral knolls that were long bleached-dead. Stupid mer. The remora that always shadowed him was coiled around around his arm, apparently soaking up scritches from the Autobot. Stupid-hard-to-find-mer and his stupid remora. Half a day’s swim from the nearest mer lair! Trust Cosmos to hole up in such an abandoned place.

“Oi! Autbot!”

“Hello,” Cosmos blinked serenely back at him, barely startled. “I didn’t see you there.”

“Pfft. If you did, I’d suck at my job.” Rumble shrugged, playing it cool, then squinted at the Autobot as he had another thought.  “Whaddya doing all the way out anyway? Nothing interesting here.” And there wasn’t, really. It was just a plain of sandy seabed with ghostly white coral skeletons to break up the landscape. Not even a crab burrow in sight. What did any mer have to do here?

Cosmos cradled the remora in his arms as he followed Rumble’s gaze. “There isn’t, is there.”

The vagueness of Cosmos’ response was annoying, just like this whole endeavour. “What are you doing here? Not many mer come out this way.”

Cosmos’ fins rippled in a meaningless shrug. “I like to wander.”

Rumble prodded further. After all, the Autobot wasn’t giving him much to go on. “Won’t the Autobots get annoyed if you hie off into the distance?”

“No.” Cosmos heaved a sigh so heavy he seemed to deflate as his fins slicked flat. His arm curled the remora even closer to himself. “I don’t think they will.”

“Is this why you’ve been sneaking off with Decepticons, then? Taking advantage of the blind eye turned to you?”

Cosmos shot him a dirty look, but didn’t reply.

“Ain’t here to talk about your love life anyway,” Rumble quickly interjected, before his mission was jeopardised. “Well, uh, I mean. That’s not...not entirely true. “ He coughed and hurried on, hoping that Cosmos wouldn’t notice or mind. “The big S told me to come find you.”

Cosmos’ fins flared in genuine surprise. “Soundwave? Whatever for?”

“He wants to meet you. _Duh_.” Rumble flicked his gill covers at Cosmos’ absolutely flabbergasted expression. He honestly didn’t understand the Autobot’s surprise. What was so surprising about meeting a mer that you’d been sneaking out to meet every other lunar perigee? You’d expect an invitation to a communal hunt by then (not so possible seeing as they were Decepticon and Autobot here, but _still_ ), if not mating and fry. Seriously, some mers.

Cosmos took the greater part of a minute to find his voice again. “I, well, uh.” He blanked out on the symbiote, then valiantly tried again. “I was not expecting, um. Huh. Ah-ha.” He chuffed an embarrassed bark-laugh, then lost his words again. Rumble waited. Impatient for a reply, but he waited.

Finally, Cosmos blurted out, “Doesn’t Soundwave have other things to do?” Rumble wasn’t sure if it was the emotional stress or anything else, but it came out as an oddly petulant whine, like Cosmos was being forced into something he wanted no part of. Well! Stuck-up Autobot thought he was too good for their company, didn’t he? Rumble didn’t care what this blimp thought, he’d-

Rumble’s feelings must have been written on his face, because Cosmos stumbled over himself with a flood of apologies. “I didn’t mean to sound like that, didn’t mean to say it that way. I mean, I wasn’t expecting that. It’s honestly not what I expected at all, I just didn’t see it coming- I didn’t think that-” Cosmos’ face lit up in surprise again. “-that Soundwave would want to see me again.”

Rumble grimaced in confusion. Of all the mer in the sea, Soundwave just had to pick the most incoherent one. Good one, carrier. “Look, Autobot. I don’t care what you think or feel or whatever. All I know is, all of us spent a Pit of a week preparing for your arrival, all because Soundwave decided that he wanted to open his lair to you. I got a chunk bitten out of my left fin while hunting, Buzzsaw pulled two all-nighters in a row, and I don’t think Frenzy will swim straight for a while after he twisted a fluke. My point is-” Perhaps he was going overboard by passionately ranting and jabbing a claw in the Autobot’s face, but Rumble didn’t care. “-that you are wanted at our lair. So. Yes or no, Autobot. Make up your mind.”

“Well, when you put it like that,” Cosmos retorted drily, “I’m inclined to accept. C’mon, D.O.T.” But Rumble didn’t miss the way the Autobot wrung his hands, or clung closer to the remora.

Stupid Autobot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback very much appreciated, and thanks for reading!


End file.
